people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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