2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
