She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
