i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize