Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
