we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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