? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
