When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
