is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
