your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
