I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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