the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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