tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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