Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
