was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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