i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
