Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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