i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
