I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
