There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
