Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
