how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
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