i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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