where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
