What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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