We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
