we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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