White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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