it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
My breasts were aching with rage.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
