I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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