Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
