she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
