I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
two words: eviction party
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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