Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
