It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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