i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
where does the pee come out of this thing
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
