it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
