I didn't shave. On purpose
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
