is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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