i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
