yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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