my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
two words...techno handjob
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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