I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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