i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
