I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
