Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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