i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
