VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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