just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
