It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
only if we run a train.
done.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
