didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize