So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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