So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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